Vitamin CC

just when i thought i forgot how to or what is love.....
(just before this post i told you i only like people never love)



-she came along.........

i can't post her face yet...i just wanna share how much i'm happy and disheartened to hmm have? her in my life....
i'm happy in every bit of the way...it may seem so fast for me to tell around that i love her...
i just don't well freakin care what people say....you just can't define your feelings.. it ain't supposed to be described or explained..it's supposed to be felt....
i have never felt my heart this happy before,,,well except for the time i met Salisi Gang..but hey..it's a different case...
i know i don't know her fully yet...but c'mon...do you really know every bit about someone like your sister, brother, mother, father or your friend...???guess not...
but thing is i never thought that there could really be someone that "i knew i loved before i met"...i just realized how much my dream was similar with the moments i'm with her...
i love her...i don't really know why...but i love her...
..disheartening....i only got one more month at school...and thing is i saw her a month ago and got to know her personally two weeks ago...it just makes me cry everytime a day pass by...i have never cried this much for someone..it just hurts to know that i got to know her in such a complicated time... i had really no intention of making her know me or be friends with her...but i just don't know what happened and how it ended up like this...but don't get me wrong...i'm happy...
i just don't understand why just now...i just know that when that time comes...it would freakin hurt me...i just hope she' won't feel the same though...
it's kind of funny..cause with only one more month she got me to break my only promise and rule to myself,..(aside from me not to cut my wrist again--it's almost a year--)
--after my last girlfriend(which was hmm 4 years ago??)..i promised not to have another gurl in my life anymore..i set out the rules..that i could only limit myself to like one but never to fall in love with one...hmmm....
--i'm emo i know-- that's why i don't know if i really deserve to have her in my life..
♥

Crazies...

---just so you know it's a small bear with a tiny bear plus a rose and a letter....

It was our last day at our OJT site...and i was crushing on one of the hr there...
i'm only confident in blogging this cause i know this won't reach her in any way...hahaha
it's been a long time since i've done something crazy like this...
it felt weird when i walked inside Blue Magic...
and buying a rose and setting it up...

then again...i still like a lot of people...hahaha...
but i guess i already forgot how to love....
it's valentines tomorrow...i always have classes during this occasion,.
supposedly i don't have one tomorrow but due to joining the institute's basketball team..
we have our game tomorrow...
oh...i wonder....when will i be able to spend it with someone....hmmm...
Happy Hearts Day....

no time to waste..only stress to face.

...hi!!! it's been a week i guess...since i last log in.. oh dearness.... my whole week and the days to come are soo booked,,, i have less time to do things for myself...anyway...i like it this way better...it's the only time i feel really alive....stress makes me feel pain...both physically and emotionally as well as mentally too i guess....although there are some consequences to it..with me being busy...yes i have less time for myself...but i don't mind much...it's having less..hmm no time for me to be with my friends....and even my family....i miss spending time with all of them....they just take all that stress whenever i see their smiles...hear their laughs....hmmmmm...
...anyway....i'm getting crazier by the minute...a few hours ago..i saw her...the one i suspect from my dream...everytime i get a glimpse of her...it's just...hmmmm..seemed like a dream...so peaceful...and hmmm....lately... there's this someone that just makes my heart literally skip not just a beat but beatS....hahahaha....i just can't decode the person...it's very disturbing in a way i'm very much hooked to what's about to happen...oh well....tomorrow gonna be another day to look forward to..i guess....hmmmm.............
darn it!i'm so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!all these feelings...all these thoughts..........
i just don't know what's real anymore....dear God...please give me enough strength to face all these challenges...and enough wisdom to make the right decisions....and a lot of You to make it a good day...