no time to waste..only stress to face.

...hi!!! it's been a week i guess...since i last log in.. oh dearness.... my whole week and the days to come are soo booked,,, i have less time to do things for myself...anyway...i like it this way better...it's the only time i feel really alive....stress makes me feel pain...both physically and emotionally as well as mentally too i guess....although there are some consequences to it..with me being busy...yes i have less time for myself...but i don't mind much...it's having less..hmm no time for me to be with my friends....and even my family....i miss spending time with all of them....they just take all that stress whenever i see their smiles...hear their laughs....hmmmmm...
...anyway....i'm getting crazier by the minute...a few hours ago..i saw her...the one i suspect from my dream...everytime i get a glimpse of her...it's just...hmmmm..seemed like a dream...so peaceful...and hmmm....lately... there's this someone that just makes my heart literally skip not just a beat but beatS....hahahaha....i just can't decode the person...it's very disturbing in a way i'm very much hooked to what's about to happen...oh well....tomorrow gonna be another day to look forward to..i guess....hmmmm.............
darn it!i'm so confused!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!all these feelings...all these thoughts..........
i just don't know what's real anymore....dear God...please give me enough strength to face all these challenges...and enough wisdom to make the right decisions....and a lot of You to make it a good day...

books makes my wallet go pale

hahahaha......it really does.....
i've already bought around 8 books (second-hand) mostly at Booksale for the last 3 months...
but...i haven't read any of it...is this some kind of an obsession????hahaha
i wonder when i'll be able to start reading any of it...
my whole month's fully booked as well as for the first two weeks of february..
i can feel muscle pains all over the body...and it feels good haha coz i know i'm alive??
i can't help it but be so emo..
this post's gonna be a bit random...
i've been facebook free for one week now(it's feels like i'm doing time in a rehab center)
hahaha...anyway..it feels great though knowing my life doesn't revolve around it. i missed writing senseless stuff (i consider my poems senseless hahaha -emo-) i just can't find any hmm inspiration for me to write anything at all. sometimes.... i don't believe in love anymore..is that sad??
i don't know...i feel like life with people is a come and go situation, like everyone else is just passing thru...i wonder if i'll be able to love again...it's not much of a big deal..
it seems i'm taking everything for granted again...

2011 will i meet someone who'll change my thoughts????